What You Hold is How You Unfold
Dear Leaders,
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to facilitate at a virtual ‘UnConference.’ It was a first for me yet a rewarding experience. This conference occurred in a virtual room where we seated ourselves at the dinner table and employed a high level of vulnerability while learning about ourselves as well as about and from each other. After taking our digital seats, we engaged in a conversation with the promise to be brave and courageous. I initiated it by asking each of them to personally operationalize two terms: beliefs and assumptions. Several of them offered varied delineations and commentaries. Afterward, I rendered the following: A belief is a truth (heard or scene) you have accepted.There are two types and no in between. A belief either empowers or disempowers. For example, if you are leader who believes that one of your students is a winner, then your beliefs about him or her will result in you employing actions of empowerment. Similarly, if you are a leader who has a belief system cemented in hatred or dislike for a particular race, ethnicity, or gender, then your beliefs about people who fall into these categories will more than likely result in you exercising actions of disempowerment. Believe it or not, a leader’s belief system impacts every area of his or her life, how we process the world, how we make decisions as well as how we respond to those we lead. As we continued, I informed the participants that “An assumption is what we think without realizing we think it, an unexamined belief that we have not given any critical thought. It is assuming something to be the case even without proof or evidence. For example, it is what you think about a race, an ethnicity, or a gender with no truth to substantiate it. This can be very dangerous and destructive as a leader. Why? Because assumptions can allow you to hide behind your version of the story. Why? BECAUSE WE LEAD PEOPLE! When leaders operate on assumptions, facts are not completely present and attempting to be authentically responsive can result in a fundamental organizational flaw. The truth is, “What we hold is how we unfold” as a leader.
In the words of Kenny Rogers’ song Gambler, leaders “Got to know when to hold and know when to fold.” The leader’s belief system must be one grounded in empowerment. Leaders can empower those they serve by lifting them up, acknowledging their strengths, conducting coaching conversations, listening as well as providing timely feedback and by posturing them to be their very best selves. Leaders must “fold” the belief system planted in the soil of disempowerment. Choosing to operate in such a system of assumptions causes problems for the people and for the organization especially when leaders believe his or her way of interpreting a given construct is the only way and that anyone who does not see things his or her way is somehow less than (Colewell & Huth). According to Colewell and Huth, “The irony is that assumptive thought is the apex of self-imposed ignorance, deception, and even psychosis.” Leaders can not serve in this manner way and be highly effective.
In keeping with Rogers’ song, the second stanza says,
He said, “Son, I’ve made a life
Out of readin’ people’s faces
Knowin’ what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes
So if you don’t mind me sayin’
I can see you’re out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I’ll give you some advice”
My advice to leaders is to understand that ‘What You Hold is How You Unfold.’ Your beliefs and assumptions are your personal compasses. These constructs guide everything about you. So, go deep. Do the inner work and simply “Know when to hold and know when to fold.”
Your teammate,
Dr. Ricardo Quinn
Leading Influentially For the Times
Leading Influentially For The Times 
4 replies on “Hold or Fold”
Whoa…. I love this! And it’s such great advice, particularly in the world in which we are living. Our kiddos are lucky to have you on their team!
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This is so true and I think that it takes a lot of self-reflection to get there. It’s almost as is we have to step outside of ourselves. I say step outside because we can be too close (in the mirror or personal) that we don’t truly see ourselves as having a particular belief or assumption. We might even have to misunderstand our own understanding!
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Dr. Quinn, First of all, congratulations on launching your blog! I think your analysis of beliefs and assumptions are accurate and are important for instructors as leaders to keep in mind when they approach both situations and students both inside and outside of the classroom. You articulated these dynamics well and made important points that should be contemplated by all.
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This is such a powerful piece and I really appreciated the point you had to make. The part, “An assumption is what we think without realizing we think it, an unexamined belief that we have not given any critical thought,” really resonated with me. Guiltily, I can recall many moments in my career where my assumptions came before knowing the learner. I have spent many days since, going through my own personal biases to deconstruct many of my preconceived assumptions. The work may never be finished but it will never stop. I’m excited to continue breaking these barriers with you. Thank you for being my new source of inspiration and I eagerly look forward to working with you and all of the other amazing professionals this year!
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